As a leader, you may often think that it is your responsibility to motivate others to do what they need to do. But that’s absolute bollocks. You are not responsible for anyone, but yourself, just as you cannot motivate anyone, but yourself.

So what exactly is it that you can do, after all, you are a leader and you need your team to achieve targets and KPIs. What you can do is to coach and inspire others to motivate themselves. Let’s take a look at this.

What is Motivation?

Before we can go ahead and try to inspire others, we first need to understand what motivation is.

Motivation is your ‘why,’ your ‘purpose’ for doing things and what it is that you desire as a result of your actions.

Most people have a skewed understanding of what their motivation is. Many people I have interviewed… which was in the sales environment… would answer my question on what motivated them by saying “money”. But it’s never really the money that motivates any of us, rather what we can do with the money.

So your motivation is your “why” the reason you do what you do.

Once the definition of motivation is clear, most people will falter as they question what their actual “why” is.

What Can You As A Leader Do To Help Them With Their Motivation?

It’s not as simple as telling your team what to do. Direction and targets are good for helping people to know where they are heading. However, that will not necessarily motivate them.

There is an easy way.

When external forces interrupt motivations, people can end up being driven away from or procrastinating around their tasks and goals. And yes, those external forces include you as their leader.

So what is it exactly that you can do on your end to help others become lean into their own motivations?

Instead of thinking that you can motivate others, you must find out what each individual is motivated by. Everyone is different. How exactly do you do that?

The only way to do this is to get to know your people, what they love doing outside of work and what they love spending their hard-earned money on. You need to place yourself in their mindset. Now you have the information to be able to build that motivational environment for them. You do that by leading by example… LeadingME®, inspiring, coaching, and mentoring, using their motivation to help them push through for great results.

Helping Others Achieve: The BAR Model®

One method I use to help others find and motivate themselves is through the use of the BAR Model®.

The BAR Model® (Behaviour, Awareness, and Responsibility) has LeadingME® as its core. It may seem simple enough, but if you don’t coach around the ‘Acceptance’ part of this model, it could instead cause you and the individual to play at the top of the model. Haven’t we all done that? You point out a behaviour, the person becomes aware, and we think they will now change the behaviour but instead, they do the same unwanted behaviour that we just pointed out!!! Frustrating yes?

The crucial step here is to dig deep by coaching the individual on what they see and understand, as well as what they need to do to make the changes. This is for them to come up with the answers (coaching) not you telling them what they should do as that is only ‘Awareness’ and will not move them to ‘Responsibility.’ That means there will be NO change in their behaviour.

With the BAR Model®, you can help others become aware of their behaviour and inspire them to take responsibility and become motivated to change their behaviour.

Giving Feedback

The first step to initiate is to bring Awareness to the Behaviour which can be done through feedback.

Now, you don’t just give generic feedback. You don’t just say “Don’t do that,” instead, we need to be more specific. We say “When you do …. it causes…. and that results in ……”

The trick to any feedback is to be specific. We also need to be looking for positive behaviours to practice with this model. What I do is try and find positive feedback for people every day. Think of it as a 5:1 ratio or many more positive feedback conversations than negative feedback conversations. Just remember developmental feedback that you give needs to be more specific with the feedback regardless of what type you are giving.

By being specific, you point out the exact action that they need to be aware of.

Accepting and Changing Behaviour

As I’ve mentioned, even after we give developmental feedback, this won’t always change the behaviour. This can just put you both in a cycle of ‘Behaviour and Awareness,’ without the person taking any Responsibility.

So to help others accept this behaviour and eventually lead to them changing, you need to take the following steps:

• Ask Open Questions – What, When, How, Where
• Practice Active Listening – Listening to understand their point of view
• Summarising It Back – Paraphrase what you think you have heard
• “That’s Right” – Until you hear them say these words.

Once they’re in full ‘Awareness’ and you have coached them, using their own words of what their understanding is of that awareness, and the acceptance of that awareness is for them, then you can move on.

Ask Open Questions

Let’s take a look at open questions.

We have five open questions: what, who, why, when, and how. I personally don’t use the word ‘Why’ as it can sound to someone else, accusatory or as if you have an agenda.

Instead, you can focus on the others by asking questions like:

• What made you behave in that way?
• Who do you think benefits from that behaviour?
• How do you think the other person felt When…?

If you ask closed questions like “If”, “Can”, “Would”, or “Could”, you will be stuck with a “yes” or “no” answer, which won’t help you or the other person reach a deeper understanding.

If you have never coached before this may seem daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. Use notes to help you, write questions down using the open questions and listening and then just practise asking these open questions.

Practice Active Listening

Active listening means, not just listening to someone to take a breath or a wee bit of silence so you can jump in with an answer or statement. Rather, you are listening to what they are truly saying, including what is in between the words.

Whenever you listen to someone, don’t just listen to know what to ask or say next because that’s not what active listening is. Use silence to build up that trust. Listen in silence to understand and to get to know them. Look at their body language and how it changes as the conversation goes on. This can help you truly see what their “why” is.

After you’ve listened to them actively, you can then form a summary of how you understood what they said. This is Stephen Covey’s 5th Habit of ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.’ – Seek First To Understand Before You Are Understood.

Summarising It Back

After each question you want to be summarising what you heard them say.

So don’t just dive in after listening to them. Instead, you need to summarise your understanding of what you heard them say. This way, you can clarify your understanding. Start with something like, “So let me check I’ve understood what you’ve just told me…..”

If at this point they say “That’s right” then you’re there. If not you may need to ask them to repeat it for your understanding. Then you summarise again what you’ve heard until they feel heard!

“That’s Right”

Once you’ve reached the “that’s right” stage, then you know you’ve hit the mark.

When you get this response, they know that you’ve really listened and understood them. It helps them realise that you are merely there to help.

Now you can use those last few questions to bring about the ‘Responsibility’ part of the BAR Model®

• How will you change this behaviour?
• How do you think you can change that behaviour next time?
• What will help you change this behaviour?
• How will that benefit YOU and Others?
• How can I help you?

Note: Focusing on the behaviour (being specific) not being general will always give you the results you want for both parties.

They begin to reach their own conclusion and understanding and they are then willing to take ‘Responsibility.’ This responsibility is what leads to ‘Behavioural Change.’

With this approach, you have tapped into their motivation to change. Remember, this isn’t your motivation to make them change, but their own desire and you’ve simply helped them realise and reach it. The change comes from your coaching them to tap into their benefit NOT Yours.

Motivation Within

Remember that the only place motivation can come from is within. No one else can motivate anyone, we can only motivate ourselves. However, that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do to help others with their own motivation. You can build that environment of motivation by inspiring, mentoring and coaching.

With LeadingME®, you can become an inspiration for others to follow. LeadingME® is about knowing ‘me’ME’ so well that when people follow they are following the example we want to be setting. Saying something and doing another thing is setting the example of the other!

People follow your example if you’re giving developmental feedback mainly in the positive then it becomes easy for people to take good specific feedback that taps into their motivation to change. This then becomes a wonderful motivational environment for everyone including YOU!

Find your/their “desire” and “why” so you/they can move forward and inspire others to do the same, through your/their motivations.

Let me know what you think! If you have any questions please ask, I love helping people step into LeadingME®.

Stay True, Stay You
And Keep Bringing Out Your Brilliance!

The post Motivation Masters: How Effective LeadingME® Leaders Propel Team Performance appeared first on Mags Bell.

Do you hear that little voice in your head when you’re working on something? No, you’re not going insane, that’s your inner critic, whose ultimate goal is to make you doubt yourself. Today, we’re going to confront that little voice in our heads that holds us back from reaching our full potential. Because let’s face it, this critic is stopping us and while we have got used to it, it’s just a matter of finding the right tools to silence it. So, let’s dig deep into understanding, addressing, and conquering these limiting beliefs together.

Understanding the Inner Critic

First things first, what is that voice and why won’t it shut up? It tells you you’re not good enough, that you can’t achieve your goals, or that you’re bound to fail. It’s the voice that undermines your confidence and stifles your ambitions.

But why do we have these doubts, and what purpose do they serve? Well, they stem from past experiences, conditioning, or external influences that have shaped our perceptions of ourselves and our abilities.

The inner critic, or the saboteur, is the voice that tells you, “You’re not good enough,” or “You can’t do that.” It’s like a relentless companion, hindering your progress and preventing you from setting goals and pursuing them.

The Origin and Impact of Limiting Beliefs

As mentioned, these doubts and limiting beliefs often stem from past experiences or influences that have shaped our present reality.

We carry these stories with us, reliving them in the present moment.

But here’s the thing: the present is not the past—it’s now.

We have the power to change our narrative if we choose to. 

Techniques for Overcoming Self-Doubt

So, how do we overcome these? There are various approaches, including meditation and mindfulness practices. By taking a moment to pause, we can distance ourselves from the grip of the past and become fully present. We can cultivate appreciation for the simple things around us, grounding ourselves in the here and now.

Personally, I grappled with my own inner critic a number of years ago. Even at one peak in my career, winning accolades left and right, that voice still haunted me, whispering that I wasn’t worthy. It led me down a path of depression, a dark place I never want to revisit. But through that struggle, I discovered tools and techniques to silence that inner critic and reclaim control over my thoughts and actions. This inner critic represents the ego mastering us, but the goal is to master our ego instead.

Mastering the Ego: The LeadingME® Ladder of Leadership

Now, let’s talk about the LeadingME® Ladder of Leadership and the role of ego in all of this. You see, our ego plays a significant role in how we perceive ourselves and interact with the world. It’s like a ladder on its side— with one side representing control and judgement, and the other side representing belittling and victimhood. When our ego is out of balance, we may find ourselves oscillating between these extremes, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and disempowerment. Mental health issues.

But here’s the good news: by mastering our ego, we can go back to the centre ground of the LeadingME® Ladder of Leadership—the place where we are in control of our thoughts, emotions, and actions. This is where tools like the 4Rs Release Model® come into play, helping us recognise where we are on the ladder and guiding us back to the centre ground.

Practical Strategies: The 4Rs Release Model

The 4Rs Release Model®— is a simple yet powerful method for breaking free from the shackles of self-doubt. It’s about recognising the negative self-talk, rewarding ourselves for challenging it, reframing our thoughts into positive affirmations, and repeating this process until it becomes second nature. But here’s the kicker: it all starts with cultivating a positive feel. Without that foundation, positive thinking alone won’t cut it.

Cultivating A Positive Feeling

Now, you’ve probably heard all about the benefits of maintaining a positive mindset, but here’s the thing:

positive thinking alone isn’t enough.

In order for positive thinking to truly work its magic, we need to cultivate positive feeling first.

That’s right—positive feeling precedes positive thinking.

Without that underlying sense of positivity and optimism, our attempts to think positively will fall flat.

Resources for Self-Mastery and Growth

Now, you might be thinking, “Easier said than done, right?” And you’re absolutely correct. That’s why I offer resources like webinars to dive deeper into these concepts and provide practical strategies for mastering your inner critic. It’s not a quick fix, but with dedication and practice, you can reclaim control over your thoughts and unleash your full potential. Ultimately, it’s about reclaiming control over our thoughts and actions, breaking free from the shackles of self-doubt, and embracing a mindset of possibility and empowerment.

Remember, the inner critic thrives on our fears and doubts. To starve the beast, we must shift from negative thinking and feeling to positive feeling and empower ourselves to lead from within… LeadingME®. So, if you’re ready to break free from the chains of self-doubt and step into your greatness, I invite you to explore the 4R’s Release Model® with me and embark on your journey to self-mastery.See below.

If you want to learn more about overcoming self-doubt and building your confidence, you can click here to join our next masterclass for free.

Stay True, Stay You
And Keep Bringing Out Your Brilliance!

The post From Doubt To Done: Overcoming Beliefs That Block Success appeared first on Mags Bell.

Exploring Angry Attitudes vs. Assertiveness

Now, let’s focus on the difference between an angry/aggressive attitude and an assertive one. Despite common misconceptions, anger and aggression are distinct from assertiveness. I’ve personally grappled with being labelled as having an aggressive attitude, and in some instances, it was warranted. When emotions run high, it’s easy to slip into a pattern of raised voices, dominating conversations, and disregarding others’ perspectives. I joined the bandwagon because that’s how I was treated.

However, being assertive doesn’t mean suppressing emotions or being passive. Instead, it’s about maintaining composure, speaking calmly, and respectfully asserting one’s needs while also listening to others.

The Roots of Angry Attitudes

The root of angry/aggressive attitudes often lies in past experiences, conditioning and the stories we tell ourselves.

Our upbringing, society, and past experiences shape how we see the world. Our egos can hijack our reactions, pushing us towards either ‘bigging’ it up or ‘belittling’ ourselves or others.

But dwelling in these extremes only leads to exhaustion, strained relationships and mental health issues.

The Power of Awareness

Awareness is key.

Being self-aware means understanding our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

When we have aggressive attitudes, it usually means raised voices and trying to control situations or others, which isn’t the best place to be. It leads to conflicts where egos clash or people belittle each other.

The middle ground, where we’re responsible and balanced, is where we should aim to be.

Finding Balance with the LeadingME® Ladder of Leadership

Being self-aware helps us stay in this balanced middle ground. When we’re aggressive, we’re caught up in the drama, reacting to everything like we’re ‘in the movie.’ By recognising where we are on the ‘LeadingME® Ladder of Leadership,’ we can step back and become more aware and we can then choose how to respond calmly. 

I’ve faced situations where others tried to push their unbalanced egos onto me by accusing me of being aggressive, even when I wasn’t. That’s just gaslighting, trying to manipulate the situation. But by staying grounded and calm, I can see through their behaviour and address it calmly. Instead of getting pulled into their drama, I can choose to stay in the middle ground of LeadingME®, where I feel confident and in control of myself.

Tools for Transformation

So, how do we shift our behaviours?

Firstly, we must acknowledge the need for change and ask ourselves if our current attitude serves us well. If not, it’s time to explore tools and techniques to regain balance.

Breathing exercises, meditation, and somatic yoga are just a few practices that can help ground us in the present moment and prevent our egos from dictating our actions. Using your awareness of LeadingME® and its tools can centre you whenever you go astray!

By being aware and building inner strength, we can find peace even when life gets tough.

Rising Stronger with Greater Balance

Everyone experiences moments of anger and aggression, but it’s how we react and respond that matters.

Turning angry attitudes into positive behaviours is a journey we can all take.

By cultivating self-awareness and utilising tools to regain balance, we can transform destructive attitudes into positive behaviours.

Remember, it’s never too late to rewrite our stories and embrace a mindset of assertiveness and growth.

Stay True, Stay You
And Keep Bringing Out Your Brilliance

The post From Anger To Awareness: How to Transform an Angry Attitude into Assertive Behaviour appeared first on Mags Bell.

Dispelling Myths: Can Introverts Make Good Leaders?

Firstly, let’s address the misconception that introverted individuals can’t thrive as leaders. The truth is, leadership isn’t about loud charisma or dominating conversations; it’s about knowing oneself deeply and leading by example. Authentic leadership stems from self-awareness and a commitment to personal growth.

Introverted leaders possess invaluable qualities such as introspection, deep thinking, and a thoughtful approach to decision-making. Let’s focus on the results these people have had, regardless of your opinions on these people. Look at historical figures like Rosa Parks who demonstrated remarkable courage and resilience in her quiet yet impactful resistance. Similarly, modern-day icons like Bill Gates, with his intellectual prowess and strategic vision, and JK Rowling, whose creative genius captivated the world with the Harry Potter series, exemplify the power of introverted leadership.

Furthermore, leaders such as Warren Buffett, known for his calm and analytical approach to investing, and Angela Merkel, the former Chancellor of Germany, who navigated complex political landscapes with composure and sagacity, underscore the effectiveness of introverted leadership in diverse domains. Even individuals like Mark Zuckerberg, the introverted co-founder and CEO of Facebook, have made profound impacts through their innovative thinking and strategic leadership.

These individuals, though often quiet and reserved, have wielded immense influence and left indelible marks on their respective fields, proving that introverted leadership is not only possible but can be exceptionally impactful.

Leadership isn’t confined to extroverted traits; it’s about leveraging one’s unique strengths to inspire and guide others. So, yes, introverted people absolutely can be exceptional leaders when they embrace their authentic selves.

Debunking Notions: Are Extroverted Leaders Superior?

Now, let’s dispel the notion that extroverts inherently make better leaders. Someone’s sociability doesn’t determine leadership effectiveness; it’s about understanding and leveraging individual behavioural styles.

Extroverted leaders often excel in assertiveness and quick decision-making, but they may overlook nuances and rush into risks. On the other hand, introverted leaders thrive in analytical thinking and risk aversion, ensuring thorough consideration before action.

Neither style is superior; they’re simply different approaches to leadership. The key lies in recognising and embracing the strengths of both introverted and extroverted leaders.

Exploring the Upsides and Downsides of Each Leadership Style

Understanding the benefits and drawbacks of each leadership style is crucial for fostering a balanced team dynamic. Extroverts bring energy, assertiveness, and quick action to the table, but they may overlook details and rush into decisions too quickly without all the facts. On the flip side, introverts offer deep thinking, risk aversion, and attention to detail, but they might struggle with assertiveness, overthinking and quick action.

By acknowledging these differences, teams can capitalise on the strengths of both styles while mitigating potential drawbacks. It’s not about favouring one over the other; it’s about creating synergy by combining diverse perspectives.

Harnessing Synergy: The Perfect Team Formula

Finally, let’s explore the magic that happens when introverts and extroverts collaborate. Rather than viewing them as opposing forces, recognize them as complementary elements that form a perfect team formula.

Introverts bring depth, reflection, and meticulousness, while extroverts infuse energy, assertiveness, and quick action. By recogising our own style, its strengths and weaknesses as well as others, we can optimise the result of anything. When these qualities harmonise, teams achieve balance, innovation, effectiveness and great results.

By embracing diversity in our opposite bevavioural style and fostering an inclusive team culture, leaders can unlock the full potential of their teams. Remember, it’s not about being better than the other; it’s about leveraging each other’s strengths to achieve collective success.

Embracing LeadingME®: A Path to Balanced Leadership

LeadingME®—a concept rooted in self-awareness and balance—is key to unlocking leadership potential. Do I truly understand myself? That’s the essential starting point. When we have a deep awareness of our own strengths and weaknesses, we find ourselves in that vital middle ground of leading ourselves, a concept we often emphasise. In this space, we take responsibility for our actions and responses, effectively managing our ego. The LeadingME® Ladder of Leadership illustrates how our ego can veer to extremes, either towards bigging up or belittling ourselves or others.

Moving from one extreme to the other, we risk losing sight of the balanced middle ground along with our mental health. This balanced state is where true leadership flourishes. It’s about acknowledging our capabilities while also recognising areas for growth. By maintaining this equilibrium, we cultivate resilience and authenticity in our leadership journey.

Unveiling the Importance of Self-Awareness in Leadership

As someone who has at one point in my life, personally grappled with the challenges of maintaining mental well-being, I’ve come to appreciate the importance of self-awareness and balance in leadership. There was a time when I allowed myself to be consumed by the extremes of my style, veering between moments of overwhelming ambition and periods of deep self-doubt. It wasn’t until I embraced the principles of leading myself—finding equilibrium and understanding my strengths and weaknesses—that I began to thrive as a leader and in the wholeness of life.

The journey of self-discovery led me to explore personality/behavioural frameworks like Wilson Learning (the first framework I came across) Myers-Briggs, and DiSC to name just a few, which provided invaluable insights into my own preferences and tendencies. Understanding where I fell on the introverted-extroverted spectrum helped me recognize the inherent strengths that come with my behavioural style. It also encouraged me to appreciate the diversity of others’ behavioural styles and the unique contributions that introverted leaders bring to the table.

By understanding our own behavioural styles and more importantly, flexing them when necessary, we can navigate diverse team dynamics effectively. Whether introverted or extroverted, embracing your authentic self and surrounding yourself with diverse perspectives is the true essence of leadership.

Leading with Authenticity and Diversity

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to leadership. Introverts and extroverts each bring unique strengths to the table, and it’s the synergy between them that drives success. By embracing authenticity, self-awareness, and diversity, leaders can create truly transformative teams. 

Remember to stay true to yourself and embrace the unique perceived positive or negative qualities you bring to leadership. Whether you’re an introvert, an extrovert, or somewhere in between, there’s immense value in understanding and appreciating diverse behavioural styles.

So, let’s celebrate the power of introverts and extroverts in leadership, and strive to lead with authenticity and balance.

Stay True, Stay You
And Keep Bringing Out Your Brilliance

The post Introverts V Extroverts: Who Makes the Best Leaders? appeared first on Mags Bell.

Work-life balance – what the bloody hell does that actually mean? Let’s talk about it in simpler terms. I’ve always struggled with this idea because life isn’t as straightforward as balancing two things on a scale. In reality,  our lives are not a straight line, even without considering work. Life is more complex than just finding an equilibrium between two things. Let’s break it down and figure out what it means for each of us. 

Balancing Act

When we say work-life balance, some think it means having a perfect schedule – starting and stopping at specific times, creating a clear boundary before enjoying personal life afterwards. But in reality, life throws unexpected stuff at us. It’s more like a tricky dance than a perfect scale. Dealing with work-life balance is finding what works best for you. While it may mean that you don’t have exact start and stop times for your tasks, it means that you feel comfortable in your routine without compromising your well-being.

Setting Priorities

Sometimes, you end up doing more at work than planned, and then you have to go back to the important things you initially set out to do. Instead of stressing about perfect balance, let’s figure out what’s really important. Identify what matters most at work and in your personal life and know what should come first. Setting some things at work aside to deal with your personal life and vice versa doesn’t mean you’ve lost balance—you just identified what’s most important. No one ever, on their deathbed ever said “I wish I’d stayed at work longer rather than spending the time with friends or family.”

Forget Multitasking

Doing many things at once may seem cool, but research shows it’s not as great as we think. Being fully present in one thing at a time is way better. It’s like giving your full attention to a work task when you’re working and doing the same at home. By focusing on one thing at a time, we avoid not only making errors but we can also get things done more efficiently.

Tools for Getting Back on Track

We all need tools to help us stay balanced. The LeadingME® idea helps us take charge and return to a balanced state when things feel out of control. Recognising when we’re leaning too much one way allows us to use tools like meditation or LeadingME® tools.

Understanding the Ego

We don’t have a choice but to work with ego and we need our ego. Think of the ego as either mastering you or you mastering the ego. By understanding and guiding our ego, we can avoid extremes of ‘Bigging’ ourselves, others or things or ‘Belittling’ ourselves, others or things, and instead find a middle ground of LeadingME® that feels good. Try and take a look at your own situation from a different perspective because this allows you to guide your ego to that middle ground.

Make Balance Your Own

Work-life balance isn’t the same for everyone. Instead of fitting into someone else’s idea, figure out what works for you. Talk to the people around you about your needs and priorities and also theirs. This way, everyone understands and supports each other.

Wrap-Up

As we take a moment to think, let’s simplify work-life balance. Instead of chasing a perfect balance, let’s focus on what makes sense and works best for us and those around us. Being present, setting priorities, setting boundaries, and using simple tools to help us create a balanced and meaningful life. LeadingME® with intention makes the journey more enjoyable and true to who we are. Find the middle ground that works well for you and helps you stay on your path without going astray.

Stay True, Stay You, and Keep Bringing Out Your Brilliance!

The post On a Tightrope? Learn How To Balance Life And Work appeared first on Mags Bell.

Today, let’s delve into the crucial topics of conflict resolution and handling difficult conversations. While they may seem like separate issues, I believe they share a common approach. Our objective is to transform what might feel like a battleground into a constructive dialogue.

When we hear the word “conflict,” it often conjures images of chaos and strife, thanks in part to media portrayal. However, I see it as an opportunity to understand the perspectives of all parties involved and find a way forward. Conflict resolution is about exploring both sides and seeking a collaborative solution.

It’s all about Perspectives

Imagine you’re in a situation with someone, and you both have different viewpoints. It’s like standing in front of the number six. From your angle, it appears as a six. However, someone standing on the opposite side of the number may see it as a nine. Both perspectives are valid, and both are inherently right.

This simple illustration highlights a fundamental truth in conflict resolution and communication: people often perceive the same situation differently based on their viewpoints, experiences and beliefs. The issue often arises from our tendency to perceive one side as right and the other as wrong. This is where we go wrong – we need to consider how each person is looking at the situation and what they see, hear and feel. To address such conflicts effectively, it’s crucial to understand, try to view and respect all perspectives involved.

Handling difficult conversations can feel challenging because we are consumed by thoughts like, “What if I say the wrong thing?” or “Will they react negatively?” in LeadingME® Ladder of Leadership terms ‘Belittling’. Then there is the other side of the LeadingME® Ladder of Leadership ‘Bigging’ where we are consumed with thoughts of “What do they think they are doing?… not on my watch they don’t.” or “I’m going to sort them out once and for all.” The key is to approach them prepared, skillfully and balanced. (If you want to know where you are on the LeadingME® Ladder of Leadership, then click this link to hear all about it from Mags Live).

Here are some tips on how to handle difficult conversations:

Preparation Is Key

Effective conflict resolution and issue management requires careful preparation and a fact-based approach. People often jump to conclusions based on hearsay or gossip, which can lead to unnecessary conflicts. Instead, it’s crucial to encourage individuals to provide concrete evidence and stand by their claims if they bring forward concerns. This ensures that decisions are made based on factual information and not unverified rumours.

Furthermore, it’s important to be prepared for unforeseen personal matters that may arise during discussions. In these situations, maintaining a supportive and non-judgemental stance is essential. When addressing issues, take on the role of an investigative professional, gathering all relevant evidence and listening to all sides of the story. Create a safe space for them to share their perspective without judgement. It also includes any of your own firsthand experiences of the situation. You have the specifics logged. This approach helps you make informed decisions and handle conflicts with objectivity and professionalism.

Craft an Effective Opening Statement

The next important step is to begin the conversation with a clear and open statement. Being upfront and transparent about the issue is crucial; don’t try to hide or dance around it. When you approach someone with uncertainty or vague language like, “I’ve heard some things,” it can make the other person anxious and defensive. To prepare for this, craft an opening statement that sets the stage for a constructive conversation. You might say something like, “I’ve learned that there have been discussions about x, y, and z, and I’m here to listen to your perspective. I haven’t made any judgements; I simply want to understand your point of view.”

If you’ve done your preparation and feel confident, avoid jumping to conclusions or worrying about potential reactions. Staying neutral and clear in your statement can make the discussion smoother and more productive, ensuring that both parties understand what the conversation is about.

Listen, Listen, Listen

The key point to remember is the importance of active listening. As the saying goes, “We have two ears and one mouth for a reason,” which means we should listen more than we speak. After your clear opening statement, it’s essential to shift the focus from talking to listening. You do this by preparing a really good open question. This is the moment to put a mental “zipper” on your mouth and engage your ears. This means not just hearing words but trying to understand the emotions and thoughts behind them. This involves staying focused during the conversation, understanding their message and showing that you value their viewpoint.

If you find it necessary, you can let the other person know that you’ll be taking notes to help you remember important points and ensure you grasp their perspective. Then, make a conscious effort to truly hear what they’re saying and show them you are committed to understanding their perspective. This active listening approach will help facilitate a meaningful and productive conversation.

Recap and Clarify

Summarising back to them, what you thought you’d heard after the other person has finished speaking is a crucial aspect of effective communication. It’s important because sometimes, just like the number six and nine scenarios, we may interpret things our way. We tend to hear what we expect or want to hear rather than exactly what someone else is saying or meaning. This principle aligns with Stephen Covey’s insights in his book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” His fifth habit encourages us to prioritise understanding others before seeking to be understood. It’s all about actively listening and comprehending before jumping to conclusions. By embracing this practice, you demonstrate your commitment to genuinely understanding the other person’s perspective before attempting to convey your own.

Collaborative Problem-Solving

When it’s your turn to speak, it’s essential to do so with an open mind. The aim is to present your perspective without hastily reaching conclusions or placing blame. Instead, prioritise seeking common ground and working towards a mutually beneficial solution. Engage in a dialogue with the other person. Ask questions like, “How can we resolve this issue together? What can each of us contribute to finding a solution?” It’s all about co-creating a resolution.

In essence, when it’s your opportunity to speak, it’s not just about expressing your perspective; it’s about doing so in a manner that fosters productive communication. The focus is on seeking common ground, initiating collaborative problem-solving, and creating a resolution that benefits all parties involved. This approach contributes to an environment where conflicts can be resolved, and constructive solutions can be achieved.

The Power of LeadingME® 

Remember the 6 and 9 illustration shows that people often perceive the same situation differently, so, it is vital to shift towards a mindset aligned with “LeadingME®.”

In LeadingME®, we aim to strike a balanced ego, instead of letting our ego dictate our thoughts and reactions. To effectively manage difficult conversations, we must start by mastering our ego. This mindset helps us maintain confidence and clarity throughout the conversation. Here, we possess a clear understanding of the situation and are well-prepared to handle it effectively. In this realm of equilibrium, the ego no longer controls us, and we transcend the confines of blame, and self-doubt, we also transcend the confines of being judgmental and having to be right. These two sides of the LeadingME® Ladder of leadership just get us into trouble and frustrate us. Instead, when we master ego and stay balanced (LeadingME®) we are empowered to engage in productive conversations and make constructive decisions.

Want to learn more about LeadingME® and how to work on your shite? Join us on this masterclass. https://bit.ly/LeadingME®Masterclass_DecodingLeadershipDNA

Stay True, Stay You, and Keep Bringing Out Your Brilliance!

The post How to Handle Difficult Conversations appeared first on Mags Bell.

What makes a great leader? When we pose this question to different individuals, we often receive varied responses, making it challenging to establish a clear and universally accepted definition of leadership excellence. As a result, many people find it perplexing to determine how they can become exceptional leaders or even evaluate their leadership abilities.

Let’s discuss the attributes of a great leader. I have six key points to share with you regarding exceptional leadership, drawing from my personal journey of evolving from a manager who merely directed tasks to a leader who inspires and empowers. These insights have been honed through years of experience in management roles and collaboration with high-ranking executives, as success at the top of the organisational hierarchy can significantly impact the entire workforce, promoting a more harmonious and efficient workplace structure.

 LeadingME®: The Foundation of Great Leadership

 One key concept we will explore is LeadingME®, a program I have developed based on my extensive interactions with diverse individuals over the years. LeadingME® focuses on self-awareness and understanding, as I’ve come to realise that leadership fundamentally involves guiding individuals who choose to follow. Organisational cultures are shaped by leaders who set an example, but this influence extends beyond just the top-tier executives; it includes influential figures throughout the company. The critical aspect is whether these leaders are exemplifying the right behaviours, aligning their words with their actions, or falling into the trap of greed and unbalanced ego, which has led to the downfall of many prominent businesses.

LeadingME® revolves around achieving a balanced ego, rather than dismissing ego entirely. Recognising that ego is a natural part of being human, the key is to strive for balance. This balanced ego provides clarity about what is necessary to benefit the company, its people, and oneself. Leaders should prioritise self-improvement, but not at the expense of the organisation or its employees; it’s about striking the right balance.

To lead effectively, whether personally or within a business context, one must embark on a journey of self-discovery. This is where LeadingME® takes its root, emphasising the need for self-awareness. Leaders must intimately understand themselves—clarifying their vision, purpose, and values. These values transcend the generic ideals often associated with leadership, delving into deeply personal beliefs that influence their actions and decisions. Living in alignment with these values is critical, as straying from them can lead to dissatisfaction, stagnation and mental health issues.

Ultimately, LeadingME® empowers individuals to recognise when their current path is not serving their best interests and offers the insight and courage to initiate change within themselves, rather than seeking external blame. In essence, it’s about knowing oneself profoundly and using that knowledge to lead authentically, thus creating a positive impact on the organisation and its people.

Here are the Six Keys to Great Leadership.

Top Tip #1 Knowing Yourself

Understanding oneself is absolutely essential. Without a clear understanding of who I am, it’s challenging to find any real purpose or direction in life. When I have a strong grasp of my own identity, desires, and needs, it becomes evident whether the company I’m associated with aligns seamlessly with my values, vision, and purpose.

When I genuinely comprehend and connect with the company’s values, vision, and purpose, everything falls into place. I wholeheartedly embrace their mission and feel a deep sense of alignment. This synergy enables me to excel within the organisation, and when I bring new people on board, they too find themselves naturally contributing to the organisation’s success. It’s because we all share common values, purpose, and vision, or at the very least, we find points of convergence within these areas. Before anything else, I must truly know myself.

Top Tip #2 Understanding Your People

In leadership, it’s vital to comprehend your team members deeply. Many believe money is the primary motivator, but it’s more complex than that.

To illustrate, I’d challenge candidates during interviews: “Imagine your worst manager, and you wanted to leave your job desperately. Now, I offer you increasing amounts of money to stay—£50,000, £100,000, £200,000, half a million, even a million. Would you accept?” they all still declined because money alone didn’t suffice.

The real motivation lies in what money can offer. As a leader, I realised I must understand what motivates each team member personally. Is it family, travel, hobbies, or something else? This motivation is tied to their values and happiness.

To achieve this understanding, I engaged in genuine conversations, showing authentic interest in their beliefs and priorities. It’s not about superficial interest but about building empathy and truly grasping each team member’s individuality.

Top Tip #3 Embracing Company Vision, Values, and Purpose

The third important thing to consider is aligning with the company’s vision, values, and purpose. You must make sure that these align with your own goals and those of your team. To do this, you should involve your team in creating a vision not only for the company but also for your specific team.

Ask questions like: What do we want to achieve in 10 years, 5 years, 3 years, or even just 1 year from now? This helps us set clear goals and work toward them. Everything we do and discuss should revolve around whether it fits our values, vision, and purpose.

Many companies have a mission statement, but it’s essential to create one specifically for your team. This ensures that everyone is on the same page and rowing in the same direction. It’s crucial to share this with both existing and new team members so that everyone knows where we’re headed and can contribute effectively. If you haven’t done this yet, it’s something to prioritise.

Top Tip #4 Clarity of Direction

Once you possess a deep understanding of your goals, your team, and the company’s vision, you can transmit this clarity to your team members. This is not a matter of simply standing aside and hoping for the best, allowing your team to stumble and learn from their mistakes. Yes, there is value in allowing people to make mistakes and grow from them. However, it is equally vital to provide clear guidance and direction.

Effective leadership is not about letting your team flounder; it’s about offering unwavering guidance and support. It involves breaking down overarching objectives into manageable milestones, enabling your team to master each step along the way. By doing so, you not only facilitate their progress but also ensure that they feel valued for their contributions throughout the journey. Thus, maintaining clarity of purpose and direction remains a cornerstone of successful leadership.

Top Tip #5 Discipline and Encouragement

In leadership, striking the right balance between discipline and encouragement is key. Our recent poll highlighted that 22% of respondents valued kindness in leaders, emphasising the significance of encouragement.

Discipline, however, involves those tough conversations necessary for growth. Leaders must provide constructive feedback, guiding individuals on how to change. Avoidance only perpetuates problems.

When giving feedback or encouragement, specificity matters. Rather than vague praises, be precise in highlighting achievements and their impact. In addressing areas for improvement, pinpoint consequences and seek input on solutions.

In summary, effective leadership thrives on the interplay between discipline and encouragement, emphasising specific feedback for growth and success.

Top Tip #6 Coaching for Success 

This aligns with our discussion on discipline and feedback, highlighting the power of coaching for improvement. Coaching isn’t about negativity but rather asking the right questions to spur development and success.

While discipline may sound negative, my experience has shown that effective discipline often takes the form of coaching. It involves asking questions that empower individuals to identify obstacles and strategies for overcoming them.

Coaching benefits both individuals and the company by aiding in achieving goals and fostering growth. It’s essential to remember that as a leader, your team’s performance reflects on you. Employees should also engage in self-reflection when working with superiors, seeking ways to improve personally. Leadership thrives when both parties focus on self-improvement, recognising it as the key to broader success.

To become outstanding leaders, we must continually focus on these six crucial areas. Leading effectively means finding a balance between self-awareness and understanding our team members.

Maintaining humility and clarity while providing clear direction is essential. Knowing our people, along with embracing the values, vision, and purpose, is not just vital for us but also for our team and the company’s success. Remember to encourage and utilise coaching when addressing behavioural changes. It’s all about helping our team members reach their full potential.

Make sure that you catch up every time as I continue to share insights gleaned from life experiences that can enhance your leadership skills.

As always, Stay True, Stay You, and Keep Bringing Out Your Brilliance!

The post 6 Top Tips To Being A Great Leader appeared first on Mags Bell.

The effects of negativity, unaddressed issues, and a misplaced focus can undermine the very essence of a harmonious and productive work environment. In this blog, we will dissect what defines a toxic workplace, unravel the consequences of a misguided focus, and chart a course toward effective communication and resolution.

What is a toxic workplace? What does that actually mean?

The term “toxic workplace” often floats around conversations, a label attached to environments we’re cautioned against or the ones we find ourselves struggling within. But what exactly constitutes a toxic workplace? There are three key facets to that.

Negative behaviours that either go ignored or rewarded 

You’re dealing with a situation where negative behaviour is occurring, and people are behaving in ways that create obstacles for others. They might believe their actions benefit them, yet these actions have either been positively reinforced or completely overlooked. Over time, this can contribute to the development of a bullying environment, as there’s no correction of behaviour, thus leading to the emergence of fear.

Consequently, this fear starts to take root. A significant aspect to consider is that individuals may not even realise they’re engaging in bullying behaviour, nor do they grasp the negativity it inflicts upon others. This lack of awareness stems from the fact that these behaviours go unaddressed. Often, people don’t recognise that these learned behaviours have been acquired over time through interactions with family, friends, and colleagues.

This brings us to a crucial LeadingME® point: If one remains unaware of their actions, how can they initiate change? When such behaviours are disregarded or even rewarded, the cycle repeats itself, ensuring the continuation of the same unfavourable outcomes. This underscores the importance of addressing these matters from the outset.

Harassment is played down or it’s ignored 

Picture this: someone attempts to make a joke, but, it falls short of being humorous. Despite their belief in its comedic value, others don’t share the sentiment. Regrettably, no one steps up to address the situation; instead, it gets swept under the rug.

Herein lies a critical question: How can we expect a shift in behaviour if those responsible remain unaware of their impact? Some might argue that these individuals are indeed aware of what they’re doing, but that mostly comes from a place of scepticism. We so easily mistake incompetence for malice when the reality is, most of these people are just completely oblivious to their actions and how it affects others. They live in their own world.

While it may apply in some cases, it’s not a universal truth. Regardless, it is imperative that the individual responsible for such behaviour is made aware that their actions are inappropriate, and are alerted to potential consequences.

The consequences of allowing harassment and negative discourse to persist are far-reaching. They contribute to an erosion of trust within the team, the management, and the company as a whole. This breakdown in trust sets in motion a chain reaction. 

Inevitably, fear takes root, further undermining trust. This environment then becomes fertile ground for decreased productivity. Employee engagement in work goes down, and without intervention, toxicity increases.

Gossip and rumours

In an environment characterised by rampant gossip and circulating rumours, it’s astonishingly easy to become entangled in these discussions. 

People often find themselves delving into personal opinions about others, engaging in conversations and making up stories about various individuals. When there’s a kindred spirit who is equally willing to contribute to such discussions, it only fuels the fire of negativity. This tendency to dwell on negativity affects our outlook and affects various aspects of our lives, behaving much like a contagious disease that spreads relentlessly.

The presence of gossip and rumours contributes to the build-up of powerful emotions such as resentment, anger, mistrust, and fear, all of which feed on and reinforce one another.

As a result, we find ourselves facing a complex web of negativity. The cycle begins with negative behaviours that may ultimately pave the way for a bullying culture, particularly when these actions remain unaddressed and uncorrected. 

Furthermore, the act of gossiping also plays a role, alongside the previously mentioned harassment and bullying, in fostering an environment riddled with negative dynamics.

These three elements converge to form a climate of fear, a deterioration of trust, and a breeding ground for resentment and anger. 

Now, ask yourself, is this truly the kind of atmosphere you envision for your workplace? Probably not. So, if that’s the case— and I sincerely hope it is— what steps can we take to address this situation?

This is where the notion of shifting focus comes into play, differentiating between wrong focus and change of focus. 

Wrong Focus

The wrong focus entails succumbing to the negative aspects— engaging in discussions that involve speaking ill of others, and degrading someone else so you can feel better about yourself for all of two seconds.

However, transforming this focus necessitates a departure from the vicious cycle of negativity. 

Instead of getting caught in the trap of criticising and complaining, which ironically aligns with the very behaviours you claim to despise, the key lies in shifting the focus towards a more constructive direction. 

Often, this transition is fueled by a sense of frustration stemming from the fact that nothing is changing. Well, nothing is going to change if you keep focusing on all that negativity.

So, how can we begin the cycle of change, particularly within an environment that might appear deeply entrenched in negativity? It’s important to understand that relying solely on positive thinking won’t suffice. You can’t just go to work thinking positively, expecting that’s going to fix everything; genuine positivity necessitates an emotional shift. To achieve this, there are a couple of things I can suggest.

For employees in this situation, I’d recommend a direct conversation with the individual responsible for the issues at hand. Rather than seeking validation or discussing the problem with everyone else, remember that your primary role is to fulfil your work responsibilities and contribute to a positive work environment that enhances your productivity and job satisfaction.

This approach aligns with the principles of LeadingME®. It involves initiating a one-on-one discussion with the person in question. Before this conversation, take some time to plan your approach—consider what you want to convey, how to articulate your thoughts, and most importantly, how to engage without causing unnecessary conflict.

We usually shy away from such conversations due to our fear of confrontation, which can result in us ignoring the problem altogether. 

However, it’s worth noting that confrontation, when approached thoughtfully, can be a constructive tool. Rather than viewing it as a hostile showdown (as sometimes portrayed in the media, especially in the context of conflicts on a global scale), consider it an opportunity to address a specific issue.

The goal is to communicate your concerns about certain behaviours, focusing on the exact actions that have made you feel uncomfortable, unhappy, or even bullied.

By pinpointing these specific behaviours and their impact on you personally, you move away from vague generalisations or opinions. This precision lends weight to your perspective, reducing the potential for dismissive responses or misunderstandings. Ultimately, this process enables you to confront the situation in a manner that is objective, clear, and geared toward resolving the issues at hand.

Consider the following steps:

• Direct Communication

If you’re an employee facing issues, initiate a one-on-one conversation with the person causing concern. Address specific behaviours and how they make you feel. Share your perspective honestly and seek mutual understanding. Focus on behaviours, not vague opinions.

• Embrace Confrontation Wisely

Confrontation, when approached constructively, is beneficial. Shift from a confrontational mindset to one of seeking understanding. Engage in active listening, allowing the other person to explain their actions, even if it includes excuses. Afterward, seek a middle ground and propose solutions.

• Hierarchy of Reporting

If the initial discussion doesn’t yield change, escalate to your line manager, HR, or the higher-level manager. Provide specific examples and focus on behaviours rather than general feelings. This precision increases the likelihood of effective action being taken.

• Consider Value Alignment

If you encounter a persistent toxic environment or a significant misalignment of values within the company, evaluate whether it’s time to move on. Values cannot be changed; if they don’t align, seeking a new workplace that shares your values could be the best option.

If on the other hand, you just want to skip that one-to-one conversation because you really don’t want to face it, then you’re part of the issue. You may not like to hear it, but it’s true. You’ve been brought into close proximity with that person to help them grow and vice versa. If you’re not willing to grow, then why the hell should they? 

For Employers:

• Open Communication

If you’re an employer, actively listen when employees express concerns. Create an environment where employees feel appreciated and understood. Prioritise open dialogue to foster a positive workplace culture.

• Listen and Understand

Practise active listening and seek specific examples when employees share issues. Avoid dismissing concerns based on preconceived notions and understand the problem before formulating a response.

• Mutual Problem-Solving

Collaborate with employees to find solutions. Encourage them to provide specific instances and behaviours that require attention. Then address issues together to foster a positive work atmosphere.

When addressing employee concerns, it’s essential to move beyond mere complaints and focus on specifics. Encourage individuals to pinpoint the exact behaviour they find unacceptable and describe how it made them feel. This approach provides actionable insights for reviews and feedback.

Consider conducting monthly reviews, which is far more effective than the traditional annual review. These sessions offer a chance to assess progress, evaluate key performance indicators (KPIs), and address any emerging issues. It’s not just about a monotonous routine; it’s an opportunity for meaningful dialogue. During these reviews, employees can bring up challenges, but they’re also encouraged

 to propose solutions. This dynamic approach fosters a proactive, solution-oriented culture.

Additionally, for employees who require changes to be made, implementing improvement plans is a powerful strategy. These plans facilitate difficult conversations, which are often mistakenly labelled as “soft skills.” 

In reality, these conversations demand some of the most robust skills – the ability to provide constructive feedback and engage in open, honest discussions about areas needing development. By addressing concerns head-on and engaging in meaningful conversations, a culture of continuous improvement and communication can be cultivated, benefitting both individuals and the organisation as a whole.

So, where does your focus lie? Are you shifting it to the right track, away from toxic patterns? When confronted with a concern, are you taking action, or engaging in open dialogues? And for those in managerial roles, are you actively listening and proactively addressing issues, or are you inadvertently nurturing a culture of avoidance?

Toxic workplaces breed in the soil of evasion. Avoidance magnifies problems, allowing them to fester and infect the work environment. It’s imperative that we collectively cease avoiding these crucial conversations. This pertains to both employees and employers. 

It’s worth highlighting that these conversations aren’t just about identifying problems; they hold the power to transform individuals. By addressing negative behaviours and misconceptions, both the individuals affected and those perpetuating the issues can experience remarkable growth. Through such dialogues, it’s possible to catalyse a shift from mediocre performance to becoming top performers, altering the trajectory of careers and enhancing overall well-being.

It’s important to recognise that change can be discomforting in the moment, but the long-term impact can be profound. These interventions, however uncomfortable, often lead to personal transformations and smoother, more fulfilling professional journeys. 

The path to a healthier, more productive workplace begins with each of us choosing to confront toxicity, fostering open dialogue, and nurturing a culture of growth and understanding.

As always, stay true, stay you, and keep bringing out your brilliance. Bye for now.

The post Workplace Culture and Productivity appeared first on Mags Bell.

The post We are What We Eat? Bollocks; We Are What We Consume! appeared first on Mags Bell.

Thank you for participating in our recent poll about Workplace Culture and Productivity.

Your insights are truly invaluable, and the results are well and truly in!

We’ve put together a video to give you a dynamic overview of what we’ve uncovered!

#magsbell #leadingME® #WorkplaceCultureInsights #PollResults #PollParticipation #ValuableFeedback #IlluminatingResults #UnveilingInsights

The post Poll Results Workplace Culture and Productivity appeared first on Mags Bell.