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Author: Mags Bell

In today’s topic, we’re delving into the art of transforming angry attitudes into constructive behaviours. Let’s start by dissecting the concept of attitudes. When we talk about someone’s attitude, we’re referring to a consistent pattern of behaviour, emotions, and beliefs towards a particular subject, situation, or person. These attitudes can range from positive to negative, influencing how individuals interact with the world around them.

Exploring Angry Attitudes vs. Assertiveness

Now, let’s focus on the difference between an angry/aggressive attitude and an assertive one. Despite common misconceptions, anger and aggression are distinct from assertiveness. I’ve personally grappled with being labelled as having an aggressive attitude, and in some instances, it was warranted. When emotions run high, it’s easy to slip into a pattern of raised voices, dominating conversations, and disregarding others’ perspectives. I joined the bandwagon because that’s how I was treated.

However, being assertive doesn’t mean suppressing emotions or being passive. Instead, it’s about maintaining composure, speaking calmly, and respectfully asserting one’s needs while also listening to others.

The Roots of Angry Attitudes

The root of angry/aggressive attitudes often lies in past experiences, conditioning and the stories we tell ourselves.

Our upbringing, society, and past experiences shape how we see the world. Our egos can hijack our reactions, pushing us towards either ‘bigging’ it up or ‘belittling’ ourselves or others.

But dwelling in these extremes only leads to exhaustion, strained relationships and mental health issues.

The Power of Awareness

Awareness is key.

Being self-aware means understanding our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

When we have aggressive attitudes, it usually means raised voices and trying to control situations or others, which isn’t the best place to be. It leads to conflicts where egos clash or people belittle each other.

The middle ground, where we’re responsible and balanced, is where we should aim to be.

Finding Balance with the LeadingME® Ladder of Leadership

Being self-aware helps us stay in this balanced middle ground. When we’re aggressive, we’re caught up in the drama, reacting to everything like we’re ‘in the movie.’ By recognising where we are on the ‘LeadingME® Ladder of Leadership,’ we can step back and become more aware and we can then choose how to respond calmly. 

I’ve faced situations where others tried to push their unbalanced egos onto me by accusing me of being aggressive, even when I wasn’t. That’s just gaslighting, trying to manipulate the situation. But by staying grounded and calm, I can see through their behaviour and address it calmly. Instead of getting pulled into their drama, I can choose to stay in the middle ground of LeadingME®, where I feel confident and in control of myself.

Tools for Transformation

So, how do we shift our behaviours?

Firstly, we must acknowledge the need for change and ask ourselves if our current attitude serves us well. If not, it’s time to explore tools and techniques to regain balance.

Breathing exercises, meditation, and somatic yoga are just a few practices that can help ground us in the present moment and prevent our egos from dictating our actions. Using your awareness of LeadingME® and its tools can centre you whenever you go astray!

By being aware and building inner strength, we can find peace even when life gets tough.

Rising Stronger with Greater Balance

Everyone experiences moments of anger and aggression, but it’s how we react and respond that matters.

Turning angry attitudes into positive behaviours is a journey we can all take.

By cultivating self-awareness and utilising tools to regain balance, we can transform destructive attitudes into positive behaviours.

Remember, it’s never too late to rewrite our stories and embrace a mindset of assertiveness and growth.

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