The Marvels of Impermanence and Balance
At lunch on day six, after the learnings of the morning session on aversion and craving causing misery and suffering and the ignorance of the mind to reaction, impermanence and balance; I took a walk to the pond. Having looked in that pond for a number of days now, I could not see any fish. At lunch on day six, after the learnings of the morning session on aversion and craving causing misery and suffering and the ignorance of the mind to reaction, impermanence and balance; I took a walk to the pond. Having looked in that pond for a number of days now, I could not see any fish. I knew there must be fish in there, as it was such a wonderfully healthy pond. I also notice some pond skaters that sat on the surface but never once did I see them moving. So that day I decided to be very still and use my new technique to enable me to see what I’d been Utilising The Vipassana Technique There was no-one else around and as I stood very still. I felt a pressure sensation on my foot. I took my awareness and observation to that area and done a sweep of observation over it. Wow…as if by magic the pressure sensation disappeared; arising and passing (anicca). It’s at this point we usually move our feet to get relief from the pressure/pain, without thinking. The automatic response of our mind is aversion. This was amazing to observe and practice and I had my eyes opened watching the pond. Just at that amazing moment a tiny fish followed by others started to come out of their hiding places…wow. Then the pond skaters started skating around the surface and to top it all, a spider came down her web to have a look at her surroundings. It was a magical moment to realise that it was my stillness both on the inside and outside, that was allowing me to see things that were happy in that vibration of safety. I wondered away from that pond a very happy, balanced and very calm woman, understanding the power of human beings and the power of practicing this amazing Vipassana technique in purity of mind! Encounter Of The Marsupial Kind I wondered up the hill through plants and trees, marvelled as I often did, at the magnificence of nature and how good it makes me feel. I practice awareness/mindfulness everyday but today was even more special, as I was truly experiencing it from a different space. Walking up towards the meditation hall heading back to my room I saw a Kangaroo. They often grazed in this area and I had watched them on a number of occasions with my peers. A few days before, around 6:30, I had observed at a distance a Joey coming out of mums pouch, all gangly and trying to hop around then falling over. I had laughed inside at how ungainly it was and it had jumped out bobbed around and fell over twice. It was a wonderful sight to see. This time it was just one mother who was grazing on her own, which was unusual as they are normally together. You could see the Joey was in her pouch by the size and movement and also two feet sticking out. I walked up to the rail and lent against it as I observed her grazing on the juiciest and newest grass. She avoided all the weeds apart from one leafy one, which was obviously tasty. Clever girl! Again I could feel the pressure build up on my foot, also where my back was hitting the railing. Again I swept my awareness over those areas, as I keep watching this amazing marsupial. I was able to stay perfectly still and not have any pain build up. I found this fascinating and brilliant fun to play with. The Roo got closer and closer and closer to me, as I stood still with a great big smile on my face. I could easily touch her if I had wanted but I realised that to try and touch her was again just a reaction to a craving, so instead I just stood still with respect to this wonderful creature and moment. Then…wow…the Joey; who takes its lead from the mother’s vibrations to fear by either staying in the pouch or sneak a peek out, popped it’s head right out the pouch and looked right at me as if to say “who are you?” or “what are you?” I just had to laugh but I didn’t flinch. At that moment I cried for the first time on this course, tears of deep, deep joy! I was sure that I would cry and expected to be crying from day one from pain but this was with joy and it was day 6….wow!!! I decided to sit down beside these two and at that point mum righted herself, stopped chewing and looked right at me, while Joey sensing mum, popped straight back into the pouch. I looked away from them and sat in the grass right next to them, keeping my eyes averted, then mum resumed eating and Joey then appeared about a half a metre from my face. What joy! This was such an astounding technique on many, many levels including on a practical level. I stayed there for quite some time with mum and bub. Feeling blissful and blessed. An Aside With Fran & Anna As an aside, I had promised to tell you of the funny made up scene in my head, that involve the two women I called Fran & Anna. It was at a 5pm tea time one day when we only have herbal tea and if you were a new student you were allowed some fruit that was portioned out for you. I was sitting drinking my tea when I noticed Fran with a different sort of plate that had a plate lid too. I was intrigued as we were only allowed fruit? Fran lifted the
Daily Routine and Excruciating Pain
By day six, I was well into the routine of our 10hr meditation day, observing excruciating pain and other sensations, rest periods and dining. I made a point of getting up as soon as the 4am deep sounding bell went…feeling very grateful to the old student who got up earlier to go around ringing that bell (old Student is someone who has already completed a 10 day course)…having a shower, dressing and heading to the meditation hall for the 4:30am two hour meditation. You could meditate in your room, but I knew if I stayed there I would be tempted to sleep longer and not put the work in I had promised myself. I actually loved being in the hall at this time because it was dark and there were only ever a few of us there doing our bit for ourselves. What’s The Pain: What’s A Sankhara? It was in one of the morning sessions after breakfast that I was sitting observing what S.N. Geonka called Sankharas (formations). Sankharas are; the mental formation, the mental conditioning, the mental reactions that we create, in most cases unwittingly and in ignorance. Our past reactions become our reference, by which we interpret new situations. We judge and categorise our past Sankharas, then unsuspectingly slot these new sankharas into whatever category we deem fit. So I was observing what I’d put into my body through old impurities that had lay dormant and were now arising for me, from my non-conscious to the surface and manifesting themselves into a physical sensation. Most people think that consciousness and non-consciousness are only in our heads, only because when talked about most speak of them as part of the head brain. Our consciousness and non-consciousness are everywhere: in our bodies and around our bodies. So I was observing what my non-consciousness had been holding onto. When we observe these Sankahras (these physical sensations) from a place of equanimity (balance), no aversion for them to go and no craving for them to stay, just being in awareness and observing the changes, we do not create new Sankharas and allow the old ones to eradicate. We are now equanimous (neutral/balanced) unlike when we were producing these Sankharas. We are meant to work up and down the body looking for sensations and not missing any area. Only stopping for short periods on more intense areas. Some sensations were solid and others were light. Distracted By The Pain As I sat there working away on my body sensations, I was being pulled more to the extreme solid pain sensations, which were attracting my attention more than the more subtle sensations. For everyone in the room, we all had different areas that our aversions and cravings are stored in our body, pains and pressure as well as tingle and itching etc. So for me my back and shoulders were painful and my butt/bottom/bum/arse, whatever you want to call it, was in severe pain. However for all of us, I have no doubt that we were all feeling immense pain in our posterior as we were all seated upright. No-one was allowed to lay down, there were special floor seats for those with back issues and some could use the back wall as a support but everyone was on their bum. My theory on why they have you in this seated position, although I have not checked with them, is that we carry most of our pain from past life and childhood up to the age of 7, in our base chakra and as we are sitting on the base then there is plenty aversion and craving sankharas stored there, to come out. I watched people using three to four cushions to try and alleviate the pain but no matter how many pillows you put under that butt, it feels like you’re sitting for hours on a very hard piece of wood or concrete. I worked away on observing my butt sankharas, while sweeping my shoulders and back sankharas…you can sweep sankharas that are similar in feel and symmetrical. Sweeping is about sweeping your attention/observation/awareness over an area of your body. When you observe you become so aware of just how much the body is changing. The sankharas come and go, rise and pass, in constant change. This is what is so amazing to perceive. As I observed my very painful butt sankharas, I noticed, some were very sharp and very deep, some were very quick to come up to the surface, others seem to take forever and of course those were always the most painful. I wondered what events or moments had created these sankharas, that I had thought or acted very badly towards others or myself in thought or deed. On observing some of these physical manifestations of my impure thoughts and deeds, I realised that some of the really dense, heavy, long and particularly painful sankharas were not just one long pain as I had first observed. I became aware by studying these sankhara that they were very intense, fairly small sankhara that would intensify in pain then as they are about to pass a new dense really painful sankhara arose right behind it to create what felt like a continuous pain. It was like a train shunting into a new carriage to make one long continuous carriage. The Lesson Through Laughter There was a new noise in the meditation hall this day, again from the men’s section…not sure if was the same guy who was heavily breathing that I mentioned in my last blog? This time as we sat in silence and stillness, all of a sudden there was what sounded like a snoring noise. I thought I had been mistaken when the same noise happened again and this time you knew it was a snore. This happened four times and I broke into an enormous smile. It’s one coping mechanism for the ego to go into protection mode and stop the body pain. Then came the noise that we
The Teaching of Vipassana – Awareness, Observation and Equanimity
Day four was the day we started learning the Vipassanameditation technique. Seeing things as they really are. This means learning the awareness of how the senses meet the mind and matter (body). Observing the changes that are happening in our bodies, nano second after nano second. Learning how to stay equanimous and not react to sensations. Intellectually we understand the body is in constant change, you only need to look at a photograph of yourself or someone else taken five years ago to see that change occurs. However to experience my own body changing at an experiential level, at a sub-nucleic level, through observing my own sensations…unique to each individual…was truly amazing and mind-blowing. This is what we learned. Awareness, Observation And Equanimity We were taught to become more aware and to observe, also how to stay equanimous through our own unique experience. What were we observing you may ask? We were observing our own sensations. Our senses, give us a sensation e.g. something we feel as hot when we touch through our skin or we hear words through our ears. All sensation is neutral but then our minds come in and take it over. We have conditioned the mind to put a positive or negative reaction to the sensation. Whatever our mind tells us about this sensation, we as robots react to that sensation. This is where mind meets matter and the sensations are the bridge. We must become fully aware of all our sensations in our body and remain equanimous towards those sensations. Unfortunately we have allowed the mind to rule us and we just react, react, react to the sensations and this is where we are ignorant. We maybe intelligent but we can also be ignorant. If what you have just read here, is pushing your buttons then you are reacting right now with aversion, to your sensation rather than understanding this as neutral. The only reaction that you can control is your own reactions, no-one else’s reaction and most of the time we can’t even control our own reactions! Let me give you an example, I see this happening a lot on social media. You see a post with your eyes, the picture of a beach and sun, you read the words. All of this is just an image and words delivered by our eyes…neutral. However when this image and words reach our mind, it then interprets whether this is nice or not nice. So you go to craving if it’s nice and aversion if it is not nice. The majority of the time, we don’t really stop to think, we just react! This is what I see around me all the time, people reacting to sensations. This is what we all do all the time, unless we’ve learned how to stop reacting. Oh and don’t misunderstand not reacting with saying or doing nothing. That is far from the teachings of Vipassana or Dhamma. It’s about not reacting but being considered, compassionate and loving. The only way you can do that is when you are liberated from the ignorance of reacting. That’s why Vipassana is practiced daily. On day three I had challenged myself three times through that day to sit still for an hour, just to see if I could. I did, but it wasn’t easy. On Vipassana day we were all asked to sit still for 1hr without movement and not leave the meditation hall. This was now to happen 3 times a day! With the knowledge that I had achieved this three times already, I didn’t need to fight my ego. So you can imagine for some people this was sheer hell! You see, we were going through our own experiences and for some they were physical, mental and emotional. On top of that we could only speak to the teacher at allotted times about the technique and only speak to the manager for any practical things we needed. Everything else we needed to process through the technique or in our rest time. Awareness – Laughing At My Mirror In the last blog I mentioned Anapana the observation of breath that we practiced for three days to concentrate the mind. I also mentioned that we breathed normally, unless our minds had strayed. To help us refocus we could take a few sharp breaths to bring us back. Well in the meditation hall there was one particular man who everyone could hear deep breathing to bring himself back. He was VERY loud. It was a little distracting at first and then it became funny for me, as you could tell every time he was wandering off… Over time and concentrating on my own observations I forgot all about him. On this day I could feel my neighbour struggling at times, crying and in obvious distress. I knew this would be one of the hardest things for me to deal with, as I could not reach out to comfort, but had to concentrate on my own shite! As we all exited the hall for our 5 mins break my neighbour rushed right up to the manager, who was right in front of me, saying loudly “you need to stop him, your need to say something and stop him!” The manager looked perplexed and asked in a very quiet, soft and compassionate voice, “What is the matter?” “Him; the man in there breathing so loudly…he needs to be stopped! I can’t concentrate because of him, you need to stop him!!” At this point I turned my back and walked away from them both, I was trying not to laugh out loud. I wasn’t laughing at my neighbour so much as laughing at my mirror. How many times had I reacted just like this? Lashing out at whoever I could, because I couldn’t face myself. Having to blame anyone or everyone for me being unable or unwilling to face me and take full responsibility. With a very big smile on my face, I laughed at this situation and my reflection. This was all ego. The mind reacting in
The Power In Detaching Our Emotion From Our Mind
As I had expected; the silent part was the easy part of this 10 day silent Vipassana meditation course…even for someone who speaks for a living! As everyone had taken the vow of Noble Silence, there is a respect for self and others, you are also asked not to signal, make eye contact or touch others. I made a deal with myself that I would get up every day at 4am, shower and get ready so I could be in the meditation hall for 4:30am every morning. As a night person and not a morning person, this was turning my world upside down. However I knew if I stayed in my room I would become sloppy and sleep, rather than be disciplined and do the work that I was here to do. The first 3 days were all about Anapana (focused breathing – focusing on the triangular nasal area alone). This is in preparation for the teaching of Vipassana. You maybe wondering why you need to practice Anapana for 3 days. Whether you are doing 3 days, 10 days, 30 days or 60 days of the Vippassana courses a third of the time is practicing Annapana. This is to sharpen your focus and awareness on a very small area. You are asked to breathe normally and not deep or shallow breath. The only time you take a sharp and deep breath is to help you refocus if your mind goes off onto other things. Emotional Detachment As you are sitting for long periods of up to 1hr at a time, your body gets sore and painful in various parts. It’s different for everyone. For me it was my shoulders, back and bum. The pain gets intense at times. On the second day I was sitting with a few others in the meditation hall, on one of the afternoon sessions, when my body started to dissipate. It’s difficult to describe but, your body is there, however you can’t really feel it. If you have never experienced it; it’s a bit like your whole body going numb but more pleasant than that. This has happened to me many times, when I have been doing a meditation called Satsang. All of a sudden I thought; “Should I be doing this?” So I sought out the teacher and asked for some of her time. I explained what had just happened and she advised me to go back to the Anapana, as I was going too far ahead. Now at this stage I have a decision to make. Stay on this path and do what is asked of me, remaining in deep physical pain at times or ignoring this advice and allowing my body to dissolve and take the immense physical pain away. I didn’t come here for an easy ride, after all I put that pain there in the first place the only way to rid myself of it, was to follow the instructions given. So back to agony and Anapana! Not that Anapana itself is agony, it was sitting still that was the agony. Also on the second day I realised in those reflective moments at rest, two things; the first was that this wasn’t just a 10 day course for me, this was a way of life. Secondly; I had so much awareness going on that I was already doing some of the things that were to come. I had detached my emotion from the actual physical pain. It was the way I had learned over 25yrs of coaching. I also realised just what that 25yrs+ and over 60,000 hours of coaching had done for me. Coaching is all about awareness of self and others…mindfulness. Up until now those numbers were just facts and figures and I was coming to realise the enormity of these many years of coaching experience and how it was helping me with these 10 days of learning. It was the way I had learned over 25yrs of coaching. I also realised just what that 25yrs+ and over 60,000 hours of coaching had done for me. Coaching is all about awareness of self and others…mindfulness. Up until now those numbers were just facts and figures and I was coming to realise the enormity of these many years of coaching experience and how it was helping me with these 10 days of learning. You see I’m not just a coach, or a teacher of coaching…I’m a student first and foremost! It’s the pain that you notice first. When I talk about detaching emotion from the physical, I am referring to not associating the pain as ‘my pain’ or ‘the pain I’m in’ or ‘the pain they’ve put me in’ or ‘the torture I’m in’. All of these are victim phrases as if I own or someone is doing to me…blame and victim. I don’t play those games anymore and just as well or I would have the emotional and mental pain to go with the physical, as many people did. It was just PAIN as I observed it! Neutral pain; not positive, not negative, just pain. It’s the emotional mind that attaches to clinging or the avoidance. I was neither in crave or aversion…just awareness of pain. I Need Humour In My Life! Anyone who knows me knows that humour plays a big part of my life. There is not a day goes by without Paul (my partner) and I laughing about something. Within the first few days I realised I needed that humour and had started to making up funny stories as if I was crafting a T.V. comedy sketch show. The funny stories were always taking the piss out of me and I’m sure they weren’t that funny but they amused me and that was the main thing. To keep things light in the rest periods keeps the balance and I’m all about the balance! I also made up names for people. There were a few people on the course that I had met on day one, so knew their names. Those of my fellow course goers I didn’t know, were named after people I knew on the outside
What Happens To A Speaker On A 10 Day Silent Meditation Course?
So there I was in the sub-tropical hinterland of the Sunshine Coast in Australia at a wee town called Pomona. I had arrived about two hours early for my 10 days Silent Vipassana Meditation Course. Vipassana means insight. The course lasted 10 whole days but arriving the day before and leaving the day after meant I was away from home for 12 days. So I wandered around this fascinating wee place full of Aussie character and history written on plaques all over town. I sat in a cafe and ate some food and drank some coffee…the last coffee I was going to have for 10 days. So I savoured it as I thought about what had brought me here and what these next few days would hold. I felt that my gut brain knew it was the right thing for me to do right now and I was ready for it. My head brain on the other hand was shitting itself with thoughts of extreme pain and discomfort; mentally, emotionally and physically, but I had no idea how that was going to manifest and that is what is so scary for a self confessed control freak. It was time and I headed along to the Dhamma Rasmi Centre to experience what I knew was going to be a life changing 10 days, after all, I had never shut up for that long before. I also make a living from speaking to audiences and in one on one and group coaching. 2,500 years ago, give or take, the Buddha sat down to experiment with various meditation techniques that were being taught throughout India at the time. Over many years his experiments lead him to experience Vipassana (insight – to see things as they really are). A way to relieve all suffering and misery within, as well as observe where mind and matter meet. Purity of the mind, which ultimately purifies the body. I checked in my purse, iPhone and car keys, never to be seen again until the final day after our full 10 days. We were to be free from all distractions; no technology, no music and no writing or reading materials. I had decided if I was taking 10 days out of my business and 10 days away from Paul (partner) and Rory (fur baby), that I was going to take this very seriously and follow all rules and commitments. I then moved my things to my room. I was lucky enough to have a small room to myself with an en-suite area. Some people were sharing rooms…you take whatever you are given. The luxury item in every room was the electric blanket, which was needed on those chilly hinterland nights. I met and spoke to a few of the other participants and we all sat down to a hearty meal of wonderful soup and bread. The whole 10 days you eat vegetarian food prepared and served by old students. The food was superb…and I love my food! Old Students are those who have completed a 10 day course, however if you wish to serve others you must have completed three 10 day courses. All servers; including the manager (who you can speak to and who helps with any practical matters) and the teachers (who you can book time with at lunch and at the last meditation of the day to discuss any part of the technique), are all volunteers: Giving Dana (to share what good you have with others) service. You pay nothing to do this course and if by the end you feel you have had some benefit then you can give Dana monetary, service and both, whatever is appropriate for you and your circumstances. Each student is paid for by previous students who have donated money and the the Trustees also use this money to build and upkeep the accommodation, grounds, buy the food, etc. This is paying it froward at it’s best, with no expectations in return but the satisfaction of helping others. It also eradicates the egotism within us all. Receiving with grace and gratitude! After our light meal we were given our orientation around the centre, what bell means what and a guide to what would be happening over the next day. After that it was rinse and repeat, as every day would be the same, except for day 4 and day 10 as it turned out, but that was a long way off. Daily Timetable 4am – Bell goes (rung by an old Student) I was so grateful to that bell ringer! 4:30 – Group Meditation in the hall or in your own room 6:30 – Breakfast & Rest 8am – Group Meditation in the hall 9am – Group meditation in the hall or in your room according to the teachers instructions 11am – Lunch break 12pm – Rest and interviews with the teacher if needed 1pm – Group Meditation in the hall or in your room 2:30pm – Group Meditation in the hall 3:30pm – Group meditation in the hall or in your room according to the teachers instructions 5pm – Tea Break (tea and fruit bowl for new students, hot lemon water only for the old students) 6pm – Group Meditation in the hall 7pm – Teacher’s Discourse (explanation of the technique and stories to help understandings) 8:15pm – Group Meditation in the hall 9pm – Questions to teachers in the hall if you needed 9:30pm – Retire and lights out This was how my next 10 days would run. It was time for us to take the vow of Noble Silence and this was the beginning of my journey! See what happens over the first few days in the next blog! Note: Vipassana (insight – seeing things as they really
Highly Effective Teams
“Highly effective teams bring in exceptional results and they do this independently and without supervision because everyone in the team, including the line manager, is a leader.” – Mags Bell
Purpose Of The Coaching Relationship
“The purpose of the coaching relationship is to quickly get to the cause of your dilema rather than focusing on presentable effects.” – Mags Bell
Coaching Is Transformational
“This is not remedial action. Coaching is transformational work for people who want to create better results in all areas of their life and work” – Mags Bell
Cause vs Effect
“We centre on the client when we coach and quicky get to the cause rather than simply treating the presentable effects.” – Mags Bell
Inspiration
“Inspiration can be given by others but motivation can only come from you.” – Mags Bell