The Irish poet and writer James Joyce said, “Mistakes are the portals of discovery.” I absolutely love that saying because it shifts our perspective on mistakes.
Instead of getting wrapped up in the negativity of being wrong, not being perfect, or feeling embarrassed (all belittling on the LeadingME® Ladder of Leadership- see below), we can view mistakes as opportunities for discovery and growth.
Reflecting on our past mistakes, we often find that what seemed catastrophic at the time led us to where we are today. But what does failing mean, and what can you do to turn mistakes into milestones?
What Does Failing Really Mean?
Failing means different things to different people.
For some, it can be a small setback; for others, it might feel like a huge disaster.
Tony Robbins’s book Unlimited Power helped me understand this deeply.
I used to have a massive inner critic that constantly told me I wasn’t good enough and that everything had to be perfect.
This drove me to achieve great things, but it also caused immense stress and self-doubt.
So Why Do We Focus on Failure Instead of Results?
It’s all about conditioning. From a young age, we are conditioned by our parents, teachers, friends, and society to fear failure. We are taught that mistakes are bad and that we should avoid them at all costs.
Our doubts often arise from the well-intentioned comments and actions of others, who typically mean no harm and act out of a desire to protect us. For instance, when someone tells us, “Don’t do that, it won’t work. I’ll find a better way for you,” they’re trying to shield us from failure.
However, this mindset is limiting.
The LeadingME® Ladder of Leadership
When it comes to the LeadingME® Ladder of Leadership, I was actually ‘bigging’ it up because I was constantly pushing myself to perfection.
When I move to one side of the ladder, I start bigging it up. This is where I try to control situations and people, striving for perfection and often falling into the trap of judgment.
The law of polarity then pushes me to the other side – ‘belittling.’ Here, I become my own harshest critic, falling into the blame-victim mentality.
In the middle section of this ladder lies the true essence of self-leadership. This middle ground is where confidence reigns – not the false bravado of ‘bigging’ it up, but real, authentic confidence that comes from self-awareness, love, kindness and knowing.
It’s important to recognise that you must lead yourself before you can effectively lead others. If I am broken, trying to help others will be futile. Hence, this middle ground is where I need to centre myself.
Finding Your Inner Balance
LeadingME® is fundamentally about being self-aware, taking responsibility and being able to respond effectively to people and situations around you. Mastering Your Ego.
When balanced, you’re not caught up in the drama (‘ In the movie’), where reactions are driven by the ego, often manifesting as either excessive self-promotion (‘bigging it up’) or self-diminishment (‘belittling’).
To return to a balanced state, it’s essential to, first be aware of where you are on the LeadingME® Ladder of Leadership and then actively decide to change. Tools and strategies are available to help shift our perspectives and behaviours. Instead of getting stuck in a cycle of negative thinking or dwelling on mistakes, consider changing thought processes.
JK Rowling once said, “It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.”
This quote encapsulates the idea that playing it safe and avoiding risks is the biggest failure of all. So, while our beliefs are often shaped by conditioning, it’s possible to recondition ourselves.
Galvanising Mistakes into Milestones
Galvanising mistakes starts with changing our thought process and behaviour. Instead of viewing mistakes through a lens of negativity, we can choose to see them as opportunities for growth and learning.
One effective method is the 4Rs Release Model®, which helps us release negative thoughts and emotions associated with mistakes – ‘belittling.’ By reframing our perspective, we can turn what seemed like failures into valuable lessons that guide us toward success.
Tony Robbins’ story about a man who faced numerous failures before becoming the President of the United States illustrates this beautifully. This man failed in business, lost elections, and faced personal tragedies, yet he persevered. His journey teaches us that every setback is an opportunity to learn and grow.
Failing Forward By Embracing Mistakes
Remembering past mistakes, I see how they’ve brought me to better places in life. These weren’t just unwanted results; they were essential for my growth and progress. I often think, “Oh my God, if those things, that I had seen as failures hadn’t happened, then I wouldn’t be where I am today, doing what I love.”
This realisation is what makes life so thrilling.
Achieving success is not about avoiding mistakes or failures. It’s about embracing them, learning from them, and building on the newfound foundations they provide. It’s about finding your inner LeadingME® balance. This is the essence of failing forward.
Stay True, Stay You
And Keep Bringing Out Your Brilliance!
